Relationships in Islam

Relationships

Religion is about relationships. All Religions were meant to guide its adherents to coexist in peace and harmony. Whenever its interpretation or understanding causes disharmony, strained relationships, enmity, disruptive divisions, family and community disruption and enmity, then that interpretation or understanding is wrong

As Muslims our primary guide, book of laws, directions and guidance is Al Quran. Our example is the Noble Prophet and servant of Allah, SWT, Muhammad. Our religion or way of life, named by Allah SWT is Islam, Peace. As Muslims we have to be able to coexist with all people in peace and harmony. This can only be achieved by acting in accordance with the wisdom of Al Quran and heeding the principles exemplified by the Noble Prophet and servant of Allah, SWT, Muhammad.

This is what Allah say about what is righteousness, for which we all have to strive:

2:177 It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or West; but it is righteousness- (1)to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and (2) the Angels, and(3) the Book, and (4) the Messengers; to (5)*spend of your substance, out of love for Him, (5-1)for your kin, (5-2)for orphans, (5-3)for the needy, (5-4)for the wayfarer, (5-5)for those who ask, and (5-6)for the ransom of slaves; (6)to be steadfast in prayer, and (7)practice regular charity; (8)to fulfill the contracts which ye have made; and (9)to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God conscious..

1 to 4 are the intangibles. 5 is the first tangible act to be performed under the banner of righteousness. It is looking after your “l-qur'bā” - near relatives. This is a command from Allah SWT.

*Utilize that which you have been blessed with or placed in your possession by Allah SWT for sharing with others. For we are the conduit Allah uses to distribute His Bounties and Favours.

These are some of the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad that demonstrates how we are to deal with others.

He would not deny courtesy even to wicked persons. It is stated that a person came to his house and asked permission for admission. The prophet (pbuh) remarked that he was not a good person but might be admitted. When he came in and while he remained in the house, he was shown full courtesy. When he left Aiysha (ra) said, “You did not think well of this man, but you treated him so well." The prophet (pbuh) replied, "He is a bad person in the sight of Allah who does not behave courteously and people shun his company because of his bad manners." (Bukhari, Sahih Bukhari)

Hind, son of Khadija from her former husband, describe the Prophet (peace be upon him) as "Kind of heart, loving and sweet-tempered. He never liked to displease or offend anyone. He expressed appreciation, even for very small favors. He took whatever food was placed before him, without making any adverse remarks. He never got angry for anything concerning his own person, nor did he think of taking revenge or humiliating anybody, but if anyone opposed what was just and right, he used to get angry and pursued the right cause with all his might." I [Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)] forbade that a sword which has " It is not allowable for a man to keep apart from his brother for more than three days, they should not turn away from each other" (Tirmidhi)

Narrated Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Religion is very easy and whoever overburdens himself with his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extremists, but try to achieve perfection and receive the good tidings with which you will be rewarded; and gain strength by praying in the mornings, afternoons and during the last hours of the nights." (Sahih Al-Bukhari Vol 1).

It is not allowable for a man to keep apart from his brother for more than three days, nor should he turn away when they meet. The better of the two is the one who is first to give greetings. (Bukhari, Muslim).

No one can claim to be Muslim if they do not show mercy, compassion, love and understanding to others regardless of their faith or belief system. All judgment is with Allah SWT alone. We are to live our lives in such a manner that others will respect, admire, honour and love Allah SWT and the Noble Prophet and servant of Allah, SWT, Muhammad. Should we do otherwise and display ourselves as Muslims, we will be doing a great injustice to Allah SWT and the Noble Prophet and servant of Allah, SWT, Muhammad.

However we chose to live our personal lives should not affect our relationship with others, which is of prime importance, required of us by Allah SWT.

If we chose to adopt standards of other traditions or chose lifestyles of others, when it is convenient to do so, we are free to do so as long as we don’t try to impose such manners (or lack of it) on others.

Some of us choose to adopt ancient lifestyles, when convenient, making believe that this what God prescribed. We choose to live in self inflicted ignorance adopting unsanitary conditions, looking unkempt, acting unmannerly and disruptive and looking down on others who instead, choose to adopt true Islamic standards of ethics, hygiene, behavior and conduct. If we look into these aspects of our Prophet’s life we will find that he was way ahead of his time. In fact his way of life was more in sync with ours than with those practiced during his time. His standards of ethics at home and in the society, behavior, conduct, dress, tidiness,, courtesy, manners, hygiene and respect was of a significantly higher standard thann those that existed in his society then. His mission was to introduce new standards. These are the standards followed by those who choose to live their lives in accordance with his principles and the guidance of Al Quran.

We should never forget the advice given in Muhammad UWBP’s last sermon viz.:

“Let reason be your guide” and

“……May the ones who hear my message last understand it better those present……”

These are some of the things that a Muslim cannot do:

1. Turn away a hungry person.

2. Refuse to shelter someone in need.

3. Refuse a traveler accommodation if we have the means.

4. Refuse to give one who asks, if we can afford it.

5. Be unjust.

The above is unconditional and has nothing to do with religious persuasions.

The above are lessons and instructions from Al Quran and the life of Muhammad, messenger and servant of Allah SWT., not an opinion or viewpoint. Therefore as Muslims we have to adhere to them. By observing this guidance we become better people in the eyes of Allah SWT and all we associate with, In Shah Allah.

A Muslim is a Muslim's brother; he does not wrong him or abandons him. If anyone cares for his brother's need, God will care for his need; if anyone removes his brother's anxiety, God will remove from him one of the anxieties of the Day of Resurrection; and if anyone conceals a Muslim's secret, God will conceal his secret on the Day of Resurrection. (Bukhari, Muslim).

With the hope that we can all develop better relationship with our fellow men and in particular our relatives and those close to us, for this, in reality, brings us closer to Allah SWT., In Shah Allah.

Kamruz Hosein

The Islamic Theosophical Society.

1/21/11